You're young.
As someone who grew up alongside purity culture and complementation doctrine, I can tell you that more often than not most of the women who choose that as a blueprint for their life end up depressed due to isolation and loneliness and miserable. There's nothing God mandated about it, it's straight up patriarchy given a religious stamp of approval.
We all have to make our own choices and you seem pretty invested in this one. I hope it works out for you and you don't end up an addict, like so many others.
I think you're wrong about the question too. I don't think your reasoning for why it upsets women is anywhere as universal ubiquitous as you suggest. I think there's a bunch of reasons and it just depends on circumstance.
I can tell you that for me l, it doesn't offend me usually, but it's never been received well. For me, thsts because it usually comes too soon. Like 5 minutes into a first date that you weren't overly enthused about to start off with and kinda got roped or harrangued into is a bit offputting you know? It's pretty much the equivalent of someone badgering a clerk to check the stock room for a muffin when they're busy with other customers, yowling and howling to be put first and then turning around and demanding the clerk explain to them why they should consider that muffin.
Because you wanted it and requested it. Duh.
No explanation necessary. Is that or is that not why you asked for the clerk to check the stockroom? You already knew you were interested in the muffin; that you wanted it.
Same thing.
You might decide the price is too high, or it's past its expiration date, or you'd rather have chips instead. That's cool. But you the muffin doesn't know why you were interested in it.
Our analogy is a little off here, because muffins are consumable. But, assume the muffin has a say as to who it gets bought by. The muffin has reason to inquire what the purchaser's intent is so it can makenits own evaluation as to who it wants to be with.
And thats why it's okay for women to ask men how they plan to integrate into their lives and less so for men to ask women.
Of course, that reverses when the woman asks the man for the date.
If the purpose of a date is to find a permanent mate, then the date IS the evaluation. You wouldn't go to a.scheduled employee evaluation and then ask to be evaluated either. You're already there for that purpose.
If you're dating fun or socialization, or in a group, etc, then the question is appropriate for either party.
I dislike the question. I've never asked, as I have eyes and a brain in my head. I've been asked multiple times. Likr I said, it doesn't offend me or anything, but I do think it's mostly a stupid question, it's rarely asked appropriately, and it doesn't really tell you what you need to know to make a good decision.
The verbage in it is also incredibly offputting, and that's from someone who generally appreciates direct and straight-talking language, shooting from the cuff, as it were.
