You're right that family court is not about gender equality. It's about the best interests of the children after a marriage has failed.

The courts recognize that children need as much consistency in their lives as they can get, especially after some sort of crisis or upheaval, like the end of a marriage.

Since it is predominantly mothers who have been the primary caregivers, the courts will favor the children through the mother.

But no mistake, the court is also deeply punishing women for ending the marriage by doing so. It's ridiculous that you men don't see it.

The court's interest is and always has been the children first, the man second, the woman last.

If men want to be involved in their children's lives, they should

*Invest more in the relationship to start off with so the marriage doesn't implode.
*If it's just not going to work out, get out of the marriage honorably and with integeity. None of this backhanded getting even shit.
*Honor your obligations. Do what you say you're going to do. Don't ask your ex to cover for you with your kids. If you actually do care about them, you'll show up when they need you, not just when it's convenient for you.
*Communicate.
* Stay out of your ex's personal life. You lost the right to have an opinion or say about anything she does unless you can prove in a court of law that it is harming the children.
*Do more than the bare minimum. At least offer.
*Ensure you are always available to your kids and that they can contact you whenever.
*Fucking act like the adult you claim you are. Phones and zoom meetings work both ways. Don't sit on your ass and then whine that you're being kept away from your children when they're not even on your speed dial.

Children are not dogs that you can tie up in the backyard when you get tired of them. Far too many men will become ebrages when a dog gets treated that way yet miss that, equivalently, they're doing the exact same thing to their own flesh and blood.