You're making a false assumption here, and a tyrannical one at that.
Feminism is about choice, ultimately. Feminism recognizes that some couples prefer traditional gender roles. Feminism wants couples to have that choice too, if they feel that's what's best for their families and their lives. Dismantling the patriarchy isn't about ending traditional ways of doing things for everyone.
It's about not forcing it upon those who do not want it or who would be better off doing things their own way for their families. It's design your own life and all the authoritarian mfs can just fuck right off and mind their own damn business. For fucking once. Get out of other people's lives and their bedrooms.
Barring traditional roles from those who may want them and between themselves decide that is what is best for their family is equally tyrannical. So that's not the goal.
But it's got to be a free and equal choice. And you have to have a solid and accurate understanding of what you're choosing. And you need an equitable out of it doesn't work out and becomes harmful to you in some way. There shouldn't be any kind of societal blowback or pumishment regardless of your choice. That is freedom.
That's the goal. That's the belief. This whole narrative about a la carte patriarchy is bullshit. There's a couple of things going on here.
1. People who legitimately want out, are still working their way out of the maze of it because it is that pernicious. This is them not making a conscious choice to benefit themselves in a hypocritical way against what they say they believe. It's them not seeing the dynamic or connection. Yet. It's them stumbling around and still finding their way.
2. False attribution of that waveform collapse because of holding space for multiple ways of doing things and thinking about things. Women are not a monoloth and neither are men. Just because I might support Betty Lou's and Rupert's choice, even if I don't personally agree with it, doesn't make me a hypocrite or trying to have my cake and eat it too. I'll support that choice so lont as it is not coerced, manipulated, or forced and so long as they respect mine and others' choices too.
It's about choice.
Lastly, she's not agreeing to the 'rightness' of a patriarch. She's recognizing they exist for some and that IF you choose that model, you choose to uphold your end of it too.
