Your view that "some" cause harm is problematic. They all cause harm.

Not all harm is physical harm. Some harm is toward an individual. Some harm is systemic, harm toward society. Turning a blind eye to systemic harm doesn’t make it to away. It’s also not as easy to evaluate as a bruised and battered body, or a crying woman.

And yes, even sexist jokes cause harm. Maybe not *all* the time, but they do cause harm. Because it’s not about the *one* sexist joke that’s just a smidge too far. It’s the constant bombardment of it. The hate behind it. It affects the state of mind of both the joker and the jokee, if you catch my drift. Words have power. They can uplift or they can destroy. It’s a slippery slope; all too often it leads to more and more extreme behavior. The commons degrades.

When words are used to dehumanize, they harm. Sexist jokes highlight how reviled women are by our culture.

Same thing with street harassment. I just got in from taking my dog for her evening stroll. Here’s what happened.

Random Barney: “Is that a beagle?”

Me: nodding my head, “yeah".

Random Barney: “ They sure can smell good, can’t they?”

Me: “yeah"

Random Barney: lowers his voice “I like to smell. Yep. I like to smell real good.” Starts rubbing his crotch.

Now, he was upstairs on a balcony and we were in a common area courtyard. At no time did I feel physically threatened. Also, I’m armed.

Was there harm?

By your metrics, you’re going to say no because there was no physical assault.

But you’re dead wrong. Fact is, Random Barney’s creepy behavior costs me time, energy, money, health and space. It costs us all those things. It’s an unnecessary burden on the commons that frays the fabric of society.

Because the next time I go out, I’m going to be looking for him to make sure he’s no where near me.

Because I’m going to have to spend time warning my neighbors, particularly those with teenage girls and boys that there’s a perv in the area. And certainly pointing him out to my own teenager.

I have to spend energy and time keeping an eye out for him, and see to increased security which costs money.

This guy isn’t a one hit wonder. There’s been an increase in the number of security guards. Who do you think pays for that? Everyone’s rent will increase to cover the cost. So people feel safe coming in and out of their homes.

The stress of having to deal with that day in and day out takes a toll on people’s mental and physical health.

And so forth and so on.

How is it NOT harm?

Next you’re going to say it’s an isolated incident. Wrong again. It’s true that some women experience more street harassment based on geography. It’s true that some women experience more workplace harassment based on their profession. It’s true some women experience more harassment at home based on religious ideology. And so forth and so on. Again, were talking harassment, not assault.

Harassment of women happens every day across all walks of life. 97%. It’s not inflated. That’s where we are. There can be no doubt that the commons had degraded significantly.

Next, you’ll double down on how it’s not that bad, #NotAllMen, and it doesn’t affect you. What are supposed to do?

Wrong again. A healthy, vital commons is necessary for everyone in a society to flourish. It’s necessary for commerce, community engagement, the economic flow of money, cooperation for improvements, maintenance of infrastructure and so forth and so on. If you live as part of a community, you are responsible for helping to maintain a healthy commons. Nobody gets to check out on that, or the commons withers. When the commons collapses, the community collapses.

Something else particularly for you men. Every time a woman is harassed, her opinion and good regard of men in general lessens. Have you taken a long hard look at the increasing number of women, younger and older, who no longer want anything to do with you men? No longer interested in marriage? Dating? Or male relationships of any kind? Why do you think that is? Because we’re all such unrelenting bitches? Bitter harpy shrews?

Or is it because there’s just too much bad behavior and hate directed at us, that we have to wade through daily, we just don’t value relationships or you men as we used to? Why would we? You all seem so happy to have checked out. Why would we continue to invest in things that hurt us?