You make a lot of excellent points. Tolerance is hard work, and it's a learned behavior because the opposite seems to be our natural default. I like what you said about equity vs equality. As liberals we really do want both but we need to remember the path to each is different. Just because you can't achieve real equality without becoming tyrannical by legislative means doesn't mean you can't get there through other means. Like education, faith, public messaging, shared experience, and continuing good will discussions.
Ultimately, that may be a better and more permanent solution anyway.
The down side or difficulty in that is keeping all the Right wing hate mongering from making you reactionary in your discourse and response to honest discussion. After all, becoming defensive when continuously provoked is a natural default as well.
I believe you had a recent similar reaction recently upon an article if yours being disparaged as novice.