You can't help someone who won't be helped. When you have limited resources for help, do you spend them where they'll do the most good, or do you throw effort after foolishness?
Men need help. But they need to help themselves some first. Not all the way, just enough to make trying to help them not wasteful. The despair you speak of is like the monkey holding a nut inside a jar and his hand gets stuck in the jar. He has to make a choice. Let that nut go, or stay stuck and in despair over being stuck. That money can not be helped out of that despair until he lets that damned nut go. You could try to feed him but he can't eat because his hand is stuck. You can try to comfort him but he'll just beat you with that jar and scream at you. You can try to get him to let go or wiggle his hand out but he'll just bite you for your trouble.
He can't be helped until he lets go of that damned nut.
One year when Papa's cows calved, one of the heifers took to going down to a secrioned off part of the pasture. Papa fenced it off because every time it rained hard, it became kinda boggy muddy for a week or so and any cow that wandered down there would get trapped in the mud. You'd have to pull them out with the tractor. No small or easy task He'd planted some willows to soak up all that excess water and while those trees established themselves, he secrioned it off to keep the cows safe.
That stinking heifer would break down the fence again and again, trample the willows again and again, and get stuck in the mud again and again.
The bigger that heifer got the harder it got to get him out of the mud. He'd go back down there anyway. All the other cows had enough sense to stay out of the mud. Not this one. He was a stubborn ass of a cow.
After getting stinking heifer out of the mud led to literal broken bones (not to mention the numerous sprains, strains, jacked up knee, and bruises up till then) enough was enough.
There wasn't anybody willing or able to help anymore. That heifer died down there.... in the mud.... that he kept going to....again and again and again.
You come at this like there's never been any help for men, ever. Even though the entire civilizational system was designed by men FOR men. It's clearly not working, not even for most white men anymore. But when someone suggests changing it, y'all never want to let go of that nut. You run back down to that swampy area, trashing all the guardrails along the way.
The guy who makes you 'cringe' but who 'had a point' is a prine example. Guess it didn't make you cringe that hard cause you nodded right along with the grievance without seeing the relationship between those two things.
Men are in despair because dominance hierarchy makes people's minds a swamp when they're under stress, especially economic stress.
Women are letting their nut go and freeing themselves from the jar. They're turning away from the boggy part of the pasture. As a result, their minds are leaving the despair we've known for centuries behind. Help isn't wasted on us because we can be helped now. We're not being that stubborn ass heifer that keeps returning to what's bad for us.
There will be help for men when they drop the nut and stop going down to the swampy bog. That help is there waiting. More than you can see
