Yes, but since she was assigned male at birth, she was still socialized as male for many many years growing up.

That's why she reacted the way she did.

Your refusal triggered the male entitlement to female bodies aspect of her socialization. That rot is deep and doesn't go away with surgery.

Even though you are masc presenting, you were still assigned female at birth. That's why you're reacting the way you are too. That rot also goes deep and doesn't end with surgeries and changed identities. You're second guessing yourself against aggression and falling into the role of accepting blame/responsibility for someone else's feelings and tryinf to figure out how you caused it. .

You didn't. She's just being a guy, like she was socialized.