Yeah, that's sort of the mental process. I still see it as survival.

Someone's dangerous, unstable, and clearly full of hate. But its not directed at you, so you put some blinders on and ignore it. You protect whatever investments you've put into this person, again thinking about the whole and the cost and fallout of leaving. It's not directed at you, so it's not that bad. This is what you tell yourself every time the blinders slip a little or you get spattered with some of that hate or have to clean up the messbof that hate.

But then he takes up cult membeship with someone who spews hate at literally everyone. And that hate is fun, he's addicted to it.

And now it is directed at you. You can't afford the luxury of those blinders. It is affecting you.

So you stop ignoring it. You stop investing in that person. You walk away.