Yeah, I know you feel rejected. Believe me, that was coming through loud and clear. You are hyper sensitive which is why I was trying to get you to reframe it in your own mind. It’s not that you will stop feeling rejected. It’s that you need to get to s place where you’re not hyper sensitive about it.

Let me give you a few examples. You can see by my avatar that I have a beagle. That’s Jupiter. Twice a year fireworks rattle her to her very core. She becomes hyper sensitive to sudden noises. So every July and every January I have to work with her for the better part of those months so she doesn’t startle at every little thing, jump out of her collar, run into traffic and get herself killed. I do it by talking to her in a soothing voice so she has something else to focus on, I’ll crinkle some cellophane in my pocket so she’ll focus on me and goodies, and take her for more walks, starting on quiet streets and drifting toward noisier ones, I’ll pop plastic bags randomly in the house and reward her when she doesn’t react, etc.

See how it’s a process. Start small and build.

Some horses shy at noise. One tried and true way to desensitize them is to pasture them off a freeway or a train track. Exposure therapy.

Back when my daughter was a toddler her father taught her to be afraid of bugs and spiders. So I bought her a pet spider and we collected bugs in a jar for the day and then released. Instead of removing spiders in the house, I’d leave them alone and we named them. And talked to them. I made up a game where my hands were "tickle spiders" named Boring and Nothing. That one has been tough because society in general teaches girls to fear and revile spiders, bugs and snakes. She turned 18 last month. Last weekend we were out on the patio and a bee came buzzing around. She didn’t freak out, didn’t ask me to kill it’s didn’t flee. She just calmly kept a loose eye on it and went about her business. Success at last. Proud Mama moment.

It’s not a switch you’re going to be able to flip. But I think you realize you’re hyper sensitive to rejection. You have two ways out of that, but only one of them is completely in your hands. You can either wait and hope that you’ll finally be validated, or you can do the work to desensitize yourself. Start slow and build. If you don’t he work, you’ll be more attractive tons potential mate because you won’t reek of desperation seeking validation. Understand?

And it’s completely up to you. Nobody can make that choice for you. But those are your options. If positive feedback isn’t available to you from others for whatever reason, you can learn to provide your own.

Okay, enough on that.