Yael seems to have two things going on, that until corrected, will always lead to a bad result regardless of who she dates. This is my opinion, and I think you're right about most people being somewhat ambivalent and wishy washy in their character.
Yael is in love with the idea of love. Everyone I've known like this, man or woman, has never been satisfied in their relationships. They've always turned sour. Things happened. They ended badly. I've known many more men like this than women.
People are not puppets or actors playing a part in your fantasy drama.
Secondly, she's trapped in a particulsr idea of femininity that is a bit toxic. It comes out in several ways but one way is that it makes you a doormat..
Basically, the idea is that as a woman your repeated kindness, no matter what, will eventually gentle the violence in men and he'll love you back. There's an old Buddhist parable about this. The woman who fed the tiger in the cave and then had a husband with war PTSD who beat her?
There's also this manosphere lunatic saying women should have no boundaries so that men will be inspired by your love and affection to step up and be the man they were meant to be.
The first Wonder Woman movie had the same idea in the explanation for the creation of the Amazons, to touch the hearts of men after they had been corrupted by Aries.
A lot of complementarian bullshit in Christianity, especially the Mormon, Catholic, and Evangelical varieties have this idea in them. That's why Purity culture was never going to work.
I could go on and on but I'll stop there. This idea has been around forever.
What we find, again and again though is that men are not inspired. And why would they be? Think about it. How often is a person inspired by someone who has less status than them? Not very often. We generally look to those above us for inspiration, not below us.
This belief sets up a bad dynamic that leads to you being battered, cheated on, ignored, neglected, and all manner of treated badly.
Because you have to forgive him no matter what he does to prove your love, express your femininity, and earn his fair treatment. To be feminine.
