Wow. There's a whole lot here to parse. In a nutshell, you're off your rocker. Couldn't be more wrong. Your thinking is truly bizarre. Unfortunately, I'm in the middle of getting ready for work, so check back later -- going to do my best to tackle this throughout the day as I can.

To start, no. I am talking about real life. Not theory. And people do know what they want, sexually, which is what we're talking about. What they want is fluid and it can change, but it general we all have favorite positions, seductions, fantasies, etc. and we know what those are.

That's not the trouble. That's not the trouble at all. The trouble is most of us have difficulty talking about it due to issues of shame and embarrassment about sex stemming mostly from religious indoctrination.

I've always asked, ever since I set sexual shame aside. The men I've been involved with are usually grateful not to be left in the dark to fumble around. I've only ever been asked once. Yep, not even in return after me having asked first.

Make of that what you will; I can tell you that most women will conclude that men are selfish about sex. They don't care if female partners enjoy it or not. At best, they hope but think it's entirely a hit or miss thing that they can't influence one way or the other, which is simply not true. There are shockingly still a lot of guys out there who don't believe that women have orgasms and can enjoy sex.

I tend to agree with that assessment (on the whole) for that dynamic and a few other oddities.

Again, more later.