Women can compliment each other on their sexual appeal and we often do. We do so in a manner that is comfortable, not weird, and unthreatening to us.
It actually IS just a compliment because, unless you're a lesbian, there's nothing behind it, not kind of expectation.
The other thing here, is that men, by and large, tend to gravitate toward language and imagery that is violent in their sex talk, come ons, and harassment. Because it's soooo sexy. To them. They're also rather oblivious to body language.
One can see that this would easily result in two things. What you think is a sincere and sexy compliment comes across as threatening and debaucherous. No shame to a kink community, but not everyone is into that, kink comes with rules, and you can't just force yourself to be something you're not, or assume someone else is because you get off on it.
Secondly, what you describe as looking for candles, is more like trying to catch what a deaf person is signing to you when you don't know their language. It's not that it's not there or that it's some piddly little candle flame compared to the bonfire of masculine desire. You're just illiterate to the language and don't think you should be fussed to learn it.
Maybe because you think yours (masculine version) is better, even if it inherently comes with dislodging unwanted advances.
So. I have an idea. Why don't you guys do what we do. Pinch/slap each other's asses at the bar. Wolf whistle at each other. Go grab some random guy's crotch and say, "if I was into guys, I would just swallow junior here whole, Boyfriend! Are you feeling me?"
That way, you're getting that shit of desire you crave so much AND it's in a language you can understand and appreciate. If there just so happens to be a tangential benefit to us femmes of not having to hear it anymore, well that's just icing on the cake.
It does seem to be an unacceptable waste to be throwing all hear of desire on those who don't want it and can't appreciate it in the manner it's intended. You could just be taking care of yourselves.
