What Linda Caroll said. Talk to some specialists.
You’ve got a problem. If you don’t address it now and forcefully (I don’t mean that physically) then it may be just a matter of time before he rapes someone.
Some other things I’d consider:
I’d strip his access to porn. All of it.
I’d screen all his friends and other people in his life and have a tough conversation with their them (their parents) if need be. If he’s not getting these ideas from you, he’s getting them somewhere. Find out where and challenge it.
I’d take him to your local law enforcement office and/or a lawyer and have him talked to about what legally constitutes rape. Ask specifically for a sex crimes detective if available. Show him real consequences of this path and make it plain that you and his mother will not cover, shield, or pay for his defense; that if he is charged you will believe it because he’s already proven himself capable.
Absolutely get him into some kind of therapy. A regular doctor to discuss birth control, symptoms of STDs and what’s involved in vasectomies wouldn’t be amiss either.
I wouldn’t stop at the idea of rape. Cover revenge porn, stalking, federal statutes regarding pictures (pornographic), etc.
Then go with what dating should actually look like, what’s expected and what’s not. All the things that women don’t actually “owe” him, etc.
I think I would forbid him from dating for a while, if I had to take his car to do it. Dating is a privilege, not a right.
I don’t have a son. If I did, I would do these things if I found myself in your position. And I am an extremely lenient parent about most things, but this is something that if left unchecked will wreck lives, his included.
I have a daughter. She’s 16. You better believe I’ve done my best to prepare her for the other side of this equation. And I’ve been there myself. I ended up punching my date in the nuts and fleeing the car in the middle of nowhere. I walked over 3 hours to get to a phone and call my Dad (before cellphones were ubiquitous). So this is nothing new, but do something about it. I have no doubt that boy would have raped me over a whopper meal because he thought consent to a date was consent to sex.
***I paid for the movie. That entitled me to his company during the movie, not his body.
