Well now you're conflating.

She was writing standards for maintaing an already existing relationship. Not standards for attraction.

She specifically mentioned one guy she was in a relationship with and his behavior when her mother died.

When you love someone, you've given your heart and you're trying to build a life with them, the standard is reciprocity of that love and respect you have given.

But if you're talking about getting a date, you're talking about standards for attraction. There is no universal formula here. There are trends. But even objectively ugly men find partners. Ric Ocasak is a famous example. His ability to speak Czech is what attracted Paulina Porizkova, a supermodel who had plenty of her own money and a promising career, so it wasn't that.

He turnes out to be disappointing too, despite that huge and unique attraction (despite him being ugly) because of his unwillingness to be loving and respectful. He did some pretty shitty things. They're not together anymore.

Attraction is complicated. Nobody being real can give you rules or a complete answer here. Attraction won't be bound by rules and we don't ynderstand it enough to give you "the secret sauce". Anybody who says otherwise is shining you on.

There are trends. And even they morph over time. That's the best anyone can say.