Well, nothing in particular. It's just that not everyone has access to child care or a babysitter or can afford it. And even if you do, you can't just go off and do things and be inaccessible.

You come off as being selfish, inconsiderate, and a bad friend when you fail to realize that.

As much talk as there has been in relation shop circles, you know most of us find out the hard way that can not depend on our partners to participate in child rearing in ways that allow us time with our friends.

Unfortunately, like being able to pick a "good" guy from a "bad" guy, you're not going to be able to determine these things adequately up front. You'd be surprised how many men push for children and are all hit to be dads only to lose their damn minds once it's too late and completely blow up everyone's life. It's not what you would call a "rare" phenomenon. It's what you'd call a "not at all unheard of" phenomenon.

Far more are all hot to be fathers and then become bitter, resentful manchildren the minute the baby arrives. Weaponized incompetence kicks in or amplifies in ways that make you afraid to leave the kids with their father for fear of their lives.

Moms drift to mom cliques because no one else wants you and your baby around. It's the only option for socialization because you get abandoned by everyone else.

Sure, they'll still call you to dump all their latest boyfriend drama on you. But they don't want to spend time with you any more.