Well done Ryan, and thank you for the shout out. JoopeyJupes thanks you too.

I feel so bad for your 8 year old self. Poor little spider was trying to save you. If you could speak arachnid back then you would heard the warnings.

The green was probably because of grape Kool aid or graoe ice pops. They'll turn your poo green. Too much bile in your gallbladder will do the same thing, but those are usually small, hard, floaters and that's usually in old people. You were 8, so I'm going with dark blue/purple food dye.