Very true. "Femininity" as men desire it and pursue it is an illusion anyway. It's a performance.

That can only be maintained by some distance.

Once you start to see behind the curtain, which will happen with living with someone, then you start to itch for another performer. One where you only see the illusion still.

You never get to see or know the real person. That's not a good life for someone, to be a character in your play and never anything more.