This isn't a critique of feminism in any meaningful way. This is you blaming feminism because your son embarrassed you at a party by getting into a fight with a little girl and you made it worse by overstepping your bounds. You're blaming feminism to save face.

Parents should teach their kids not to hit. Full stop.

You chose to do so by having your son apologize. But you undermined that discipline by demanding her parents force an apology as well. You overstepped.

First off, you don't know the little girl didn't get disciplined. You know she didn't get disciplined the way YOU wanted. Right then and there. As a public show.

I think you need ro ask yourself if you want the show or if you want the result. Not every parent believes forcing apologies is effective long term. Not every patent is comfortable disciplining in any fashion their children publicly or as a spectacle.

That doesn't mean those children don't get disciplined. It means you didn't get to see it.

And that's got nothing to do with feminism.