There are a bunch of stories about how a car passenger would have died if they had been wearing a seat belt too.

Men like to be the narrator of their own internal hero’s journey. Ergo, they have a certain manner of looking at things in a way that they never have to call their conduct into question. They think that how they feel about a thing is how everyone feels about that thing. They think that because you went along with a thing that you were in agreement with that thing.

It’s one of the big reasons why so many men come with all those caution tags and keep getting marked with warning flags.

They don’t always get the consent they’ve convinced themselves they’ve gotten. Too many are really fuzzy about what consent means in the first place. They don’t know what their local rape and lesser sexual misconduct laws are. They don’t know human reproductive anatomy or physiology. They don’t have any respect for their own sexual selves or health so why would they respect anyone else’s? They think of their dicks as plug and play with chicks and it never goes much beyond that point, thinking wise.

So all of these stories men tell each other don’t mean very much if they don’t know what they’re talking about in the first place.

The other thing here is that men tend to be hyper reactive. A woman has a bad experience and tries to broach it with the guy. Let’s say she had too much to drink, so much that she doesn’t even remember having had sex with the guy. Maybe in her drunken state she was coming on to him. Maybe she literally begged for sex. At some point she blacked out though and the guy kept having sex with her.

So she’s questioning his conduct after the fact. But he immediately starts spouting that he didn’t rape her. She’s trying to have a conversation about sexual misconduct and boundaries for both their health and safety and he’s having hysterics about false accusations.

And frankly, depending on state law (or international laws if you’re from a different country than me) that little scenario might have been rape, legally speaking. Just so you know.

If a woman asks about what you did, or talks it over with a friend or counselor, it means she’s seeking clarity usually. Something happened that she feels uneasy about and she’s looking to feel safe again.

You’ve not been accused of rape, legitimately or falsely, until a legal complaint has been made against you, charges have been pressed, and you’ve been booked.

All these stories.... mostly mansterics.