The reverse of this is also true though. He made her condition worse. The cheating, the binges, the lies, the disappearing, the paranoia, the jealousy.

As someone struggling with mental health issues, she was not healthy enough to deal with and handle his addiction and everything that comes with it. It was unfair to put that on her. “Look what you made me do" type excuses. I call bullshit.

…

You, like a lot of people seem to be choosing physical abuse as more severe than emotional and mental abuse and therefore his story mist be more “true".

That’s so weird to me.

He basically tortured her for months before she responded.

Further, she didn’t make his addiction worse. That’s nonsense. Again, I call bullshit. His time with her is not the only time in his life he has really gone deep into it. Years ago he may have been involved in the murder of a former business partner. Did you know that?

She’s not responsible for his addiction. You all are coddling him here, engaging in some codependency behaviors of your own.

People with BPD are a handful and need special care. Addicts are a handful and need special care. The two should probably never mix romantically. Both lie, exploit, and manipulate with expert ease. If one is deserving of sympathy under the banner of “illness", the other must be also.

But you absolutely have to be careful to not coddle them, either one, and keep them to account or they will drown you with them. Your compassion will be weaponized against you to get what they want and then you’ll be discarded till they need something else. They won’t think twice. That dynamic is every bit as true for addiction as it is certain mental illnesses.