That’s true too. But the guys you mention aren’t really joking around, they’re just being spoiled brats and then gaslighting. For them it’s a pattern of obnoxious behavior. Let’s face it, it takes a while to get a reputation like that in Hollywood. It takes a lot longer, in general, for a man to get a reputation like that than a woman for comparably more minor “offenses". Think about how little you have to do to be labeled an obnoxious bitch at your place of work. In conjunction with the entitled behavior described, these guys are NOT known for any remarkable good behavior. That’s different than the sort of stuff I meant in my comment.
I was thinking more of men like George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Norman Reedus, Viggo Mortensen, Alexander Skarsgard, etc. These guys are notorious pranksters and such (have been known to employ weird “method” acting for particular roles) on set but there’s no malice involved. They’re also known to be incredibly generous with their time and their resources. And they seem to know when the behavior is welcome and when it is not. They don’t push ahead doing whatever if the people around them are signaling that it’s unwelcome. They don’t act like their entertainment is the most important thing over every other consideration. They reach out to cast and crew to help in any way that is needed. They are known for their kindness.
No one would think anything untoward if Norman Reedus shot them a bird and said, “hey Asshole" because you also know he’d have a drink with you and be a good sport and smile when you prank him back. If Christian Bale did the same thing, you’d want to punch him in his stupid mouth. It’s not because of the behavior in that one moment; it’s all the behavior in all the other moments behind it.
Based on your comment, I think you’d agree that women are getting tired of being told we don’t know how to take a joke. Clearly, we do. We’re not overly sensitive and we know when men mean well and when they don’t. The problem is not us. It’s men like the ones you mentioned not knowing what constitutes a good joke in the first place and then gaslighting when no one thinks they’re funny instead of just owning it. We’ve all had moments of social awkwardness, when things don’t land right, or when get out of hand. It happens. We don’t gaslight the people we made uncomfortable when we get called on it. We apologize like the adults we are and make amends if we need to. We try to do better because we don’t get off on hurting people. We don’t think anyone owes us their time and attention just because we’re bored.
