That's because it's a false equivalence. Once you think k it through, it becomes obvious.

Feminism is not about doing whatever you want to do with no consequence. That's sociopathic and authoritarian because the only way to live like that is to have someone else do the labor of living for you.

So that's where these Influencers are taking feminism and deliberstely obfuscatingthe ideology in order to con young people and make money.

They're no different than Andrew Tate and his ilk. They're nefarious actors, liars and frauds.

Feminism isn't about being "feminine". That is and always has been a contextual moving target. It's practically meaningless. It's not about veing like men or masculine either for the same damn reason.

Feminism is avout equality of opportunity, not being limited in your life based on gender or sex. It's about choice in how to arrange or navigate your life, how to negotiate with your partner for the common benefit of both of you (or more, if you're polyamorous, etc), and about beint able to do so without societal or religious shame or sex/gender based censure.

In other words, if you don't want to have children, don't have children. Perfectly valid life style choice. If you want to be a travelling hobo with a surfer mentality, do so. See the world, explore, enjoy your life. It's yours. If you want a traditional relationship with a man, 2.5 kids, a dog, and a picket fence ...have at it. Many have found their happiness or enough contentment to not be resentful there. Do you want a high pating job? Go for it. Would you rather work part time and find satisfaction in volunteering in the community? Hey, that's noble and there's always need.

This is what feminism is about. It's like Build-A-Bear. Design your life around what will fulfill you and set you up to fulfill your purpose and/or potential.

It's not about getting out of work so you can sit up and play pretty princess off someone's labor. That's Authoritarian bullshit.