That wasn't what perked my attention from his comment.
It was the automatic reciprocity of hate.
I say I feel hated by men but that I don't hate men.
He automatically interprets that as that the hate must be and is being returned. That no matter what he does, he's going to be hated in turn, undeserved, because of the actions of a lot of men and because of the dominance of men in society, or patriarchy.
As for the rest, the point is not to make men responsible for the feelings of women. As you alluded to, feelings just happen to us, beyond out control. We all have them. They are perception, but I disagree that they're not real or not reality. They're the texture or color of an object, not the object. But that texture is certainly real. They can be described and experienced. They're a facet of a thing, not the whole of a thing.
They're also what we've evolved as a means of interpreting the world and relating to each other. They might be imperfect, but they're what we've got and they're not useless.
So, if I'm not responsible for what I feel because emotions just land however they're going to land within the person, how could Tony or any other person be? Answer: they can't, any more than I can be responsible for the fact that they have the emotions they have, whatever they are.
We're talking about the emergence and oresence of them, within the person experiencing them. Just clarifying.
How we handle those emotions is up to us. That's our own responsibility and we all have a responsibility to emotionally regulate in order to get along.
The point of me saying that I feel hated by all men is to describe what being an oppressed class or the object of a "need to dominate" feels like for the person in the vusiness end of that to the ones doing the oppression and the dominating. Because both of those things are acts of violence and violence from men is getting out of hand. Too many rage junkies. The point is to combat the propaganda narrative that dominance and domination by men is natural or even desirable.
Men are convincing themselves that women are punishing them by gstekeeping sex and abandoning them, thereby dumping responsibility for their lonliness and misery onto the shoulders of women rather than facing the reality that their lust for violence and things that lead to violence simply make them too dangerous to be around or too volatile to love.
Men need to take responsibility for the conditions they are creating and face the consequences of what this pursuit of violent delights will mean.
Either turn away from it and back to sanity and rationality or get themselves a cat to love (aka, get used to being alone and sexless).
