That makes the assumption that they want full custody instead of partial or any at all.
Courts award custody to the primary caregiver, not to women. It just so happens that the primary caregiver is the woman because most men will not learn how to care for an infant. They'll babysit if you nag them for days beforehand, maybe.
The point is, the court is not favoring the woman here's it is favoring the best interests of the child. Like I said. Stability and consistency are important to the development of children. So they go to who has already been taking care of them because that's what's best for them. Of course, that's providing there anot some reason to deny like Mom being an addict or something.
Men could change this dynamic easily by more actively participating in the day to day care of their children from day 1. But they don't, or won't so they can them later blame mothers for a situation they had a huge hand in creating. I'll refer you back to my admonishment that if men don't like the status quo, they start working toward changing it to suit them better. No one is stopping them.
As far as false allegations to, thats mostly a myth men tell themselves. No jusge or court is going to knowingly take a woman's side over what they believe to be false allegations. There's such a thing as professional conduct and judicial review. A judge could lose their bench. They and the court/city could.face fines and or extreme awards from lawsuits for judicial misconduct. Either there's proof, the claims get disregarded, or claims are made pre-trial and never make it before the court. Same for lawyers. No lawyer is going to allow their client to make a claim that would jeopardize their case if found to be false without some kind of substantiation. Bare minimum, they would be censured.
More likely, the men who make this claim are not aware that their actions fall under the category of abuse. But that's their false opinion, not a legal reality.
Like, if you ever text your spouse that you're going to kill her, that's abuse and there's a record. Legally, making that statement is criminal, actually. Look up the legal statutes for menacing and harassment.
You might be able to convince your lawyer and a judge that you were just emotionally distraught and didn't mean it so that you dont face charges but you've also proved you're abusive in the eyes of family court. No jusge will grant full custody to someone who can't control themselves enough to not threaten to murder their family every time the toast gets burnt.
Because children go through phases where theyre assholes. They'll push every button you have and then find some more at the neighbor's yard sale, slap them on your psyche, and start pushing them too. And you have to be able to handle that to effectively parent.
Oh yeah, I do tell women the same thing. Actually, here lately I mostly advocate for having families if you want them without male partners if you can't find one of the ones who actually want to partner. There are lots of decent men out there who want to be a good partner and father, but it's clear there's not enough to go around. My best advice to women is to find a good one if you can and hold on to him but if you can't, don't settle for one of these other guys thinking you can change him or that it won't matter in the end. It very much matters. Foolish men will drown you with their foolishness. Every. Time. Either be okay without having children and fill your purpose in other ways, build a support pod with other women, or be prepared to go it alone because all these super aggrieved men are not worth the pain and misery they will bring to your door.
The sad fact is, a lot of people just aren't cut out for marriage and family. As a society, we need to stop pressuring them into pursuing a life they just aren't suited for and never will be. That's my 2 cents.
