That actually is what she said. Well, she said boundaries, but she explained conditions as boundaries and that's not what boundaries are.

Boundaries are not conditions, hoops, or goals we place upon our mates in order to earn our love and affection.

That's the sort of shit men do to us with the constantly morphing beauty standards. And all the hoops to earn their attention and be good enough. And yes, that's toxic, but it's nothing to do with femininity.

It's also not what boundaries are. Boundaries are for us, they're barriers or standards for our protection. So we don't suffer in love or cause others to suffer in love.