Women in Iran give me hope for the future too. I had hoped to see more of a reaction like that here after the fall of Roe. But I wasn’t really surprised because street protests don’t work here like they do in Europe and elsewhere. Not enough women are prepared and willing to get really radical and because of race issues, there’s always a lot of infighting amongst protest groups. Always.
We’re in for a long haul. It’s likely to get a lot worse too.
I’m watching Iran, as best I can. I pray for them every night at our (Jupe’s and mine) night walk spot where we stop for a rest, a water break, and look at the stars. I hope they can overturn the regime and improve their circumstances. Iran used to be a beautiful country. It could be again.
Coming back around to public messaging, you’re still arguing for yet another obstruction to women’s safety. If women are going to be blamed for choosing "bad men" when they’re harmed, and the state or “good" men refuse to deal with problem men (who are hurting then too), then a woman’s best chance to not be harmed lies in being able to recognize potentially problematic behavior. The problem with DiCaprio is not so much the age difference as it is the serial dating of younger women. That for whatever reason, they’re aging out at 25. He’s dating like an ephebophile, a man obsessed with "fresh fruit", that has a definite expiration date when it’s spoiled and no longer consumable. Dating him is accepting that you’re disposable.
I’ll remind you of two things. First, public messaging works both ways. Men like DiCaprio have been getting a lot of public air play to the point where questionable age gaps are becoming normalized. It’s interesting that you don’t have a problem with that, but you do with the contradictory opinion. Double standards, much?
Secondly, I have a recently minted adult at home, the sort of young , fresh, hottie men like DiCaprio drool over on the regular. Yes, I would have her see these men for exactly what they are. Shiftless, middle aged, flakey bros with a Peter Pan complex constantly whining about how their ex-wives were so mean to them and now they never get to see their kids or have any fun. A 40 year old man shouldn’t be looking to an 18 year old young woman to take care of him because he won’t grow up. An 18 year old young woman who has yet to step fully into adulthood shouldn’t be trapped playing mommy to a 50 year old man.
If Urchling won’t/can’t hear it from me, then yes, I’d be very grateful if there was a messaging avenue she would/could hear it from. Thankfully, the fruit fly horde disgust her as much as they do me. Plus, she’s had nearly 20 years of seeing even older men try the same lame ploys on her loving mother because because they’re starting to have health problems after a lifetime of carousing around and now need someone to take care of them. It won’t be me.
Hopefully, it won’t be her either. But it’s still her choice. It’s always been her choice.
Ultimately, if all relationships come with a ‘buyer beware' caveat, then it’s unfair to condemn messaging designed to educate so the buyer can beware. Nobody cries foul with material that teaches people to spot a lemon car and there are lemon laws on the books to protect buyers. Why is okay for cars, but not okay for relationships? Relationships cost you a lot more when they break and do a lot more damage when you get a bad one.
Finally, I’d like to point out another double standard. You’ve got a real burr in your saddle about feminists talking about age gap relationships and your argument is always choice takes precedence. Okay, fine. I’ve yet to hear you condemn Men’s Rights Activists for promoting the dangers of relationships with women who are fat, single moms, or have tattoos though. Apparently, women who fit into any of those labels are bitter and have baggage; they won’t let a guy have any fun. They’ll use a guy and then dump him, leaving him broke and destitute. Is it not also a young man’s choice to make? He’s a legal adult too, is he not?
If the ability to make one’s own choice is what’s really got your knickers in a bind, why are you only ever arguing one side of that coin?
Urchling adds that she’s not got a problem with a guy’s age per se, but she will definitely be looking for signs of creeping and nefarious intent specific to older guys. And that’s exactly as it should be. Yay me. Job well done.
She also adds that you can’t have a society and do anything you want. There will always be rules. It’s true in all social animals. You will be judged by the group, or you won’t have a group. (Again, yay me. She knows her ecology.) She says, as a Penguin, you should know this. That sound you hear is harsh arctic winds, not a vacuum. (Ouch! Definitely my child.)
