Snd I had it easy, super easy, compared to most mothers. I was better prepared. My daughter was planned. I was ready. She was a quintessentially happy "Gerber" baby. Easy easy baby. Healthy. Happy. No fuss. Hardly ever even cried.

And I STILL suffered from isolation and erasure and loss of identity to the point where I was definitely on the road to suicide for a while there.

Until I made some changes. In my case, it meant pulling back some and spending more time alone to ease those feekings of isolation. Working less and setting some hard boundaries about doing things for other people. Prioritizing rest and mental stimulation. Cutting some drama whores out of my life. Doing more interesting things with the Urchling's playtime than going to the playground, or other traditional kid things. I took some enrichment classes online.