Sloppy. You're mischaracterizing both of their works.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intercourse_(book)

Stoltenberg is bisexual. He was Dwormin's paetner for over 30 years but had been with his husband for the past 15 or so. As an LGBTQ, he is outside the cultural norms of masculinity and knows exactly how toxic they are.

He also wrote, "Pornography tells lies about women but it tells the truth about men".

Dwormin's statement was primarily in regards to literature.