Relationships have an aspect of practicality to them, sure. But that's not all they are. What you're talking about might apply best to arranged marriages, but that's not culturally viable for westerners. We want more -- we want eros too. So you can't neglect the rest of the relationship just to focus on the "transaction" part.
Marriages of the past were not what we think they were today. The average marriage of the 19th century lasted 12 years. Hardly a lifetime. People didnt get divorced, but then they did have to. They died a lot more frequently and a lot earlier in life. Men and women. Ina lot of ways, they were probably more balanced. People seemed to have their heads on straighter. They valued each other in ways we've forgotten today. I'd wager if people valued their partners like people did back then, the divorce rate would drop. Men of that era did not think of marriage and relationships in terms of transactions or as a conquest either. Not like it's been portrayed. I'll refer you to William Shakespeare's Sonnet 49. That's where most men's heads were at.
Reciprocity isn't about emotional whim. You're kind of off on a weird tangent here. A lot of people, more men than women, don't seem to be able to tease out the difference between relationships being transactional and reciprocal. I think the reason why might have to do with how it plays out subconsciously. I'd said before that when you think transactionally, the relationship is like a gateway. I meant that like a banjo gateway to facilitate those transactions. The relationship is a tool to get you what you want. No more. No less. If the tool doesn't work or a better one comes along, you trade up. It's disposable.
When you think reciprocally, the relationship is more than a tool. It holds value because it holds investment for the future. It works more like a bridge. For a lot of people with this mindset, the relationship almost becomes a living thing like a child that they love and cherish in equal measure to the person they share it with. These are the ones who make it 50 years still in love as much or more than the day they wed.
Haha. Yeah, you just don't see how men go about relationships because you're male. You don't date men so you have a bias blindspot. Women see it all the time, though we have our own blindspots too. All that bullshit around Briffault's law is a prime example. And yes, it's complete bullshit. Prancing around the dating scene like if they just throw enough money and attention at women they'll get pussy would be an example of that. Women are not vending machines. We are people. There's not a power combo button sequence to unlock our goodies. We're individuals. Not dolls.
I really wish you boys would stop hinging all your life philosophies off sociology. It's a soft science. As such, a lot of what comes out of it is going to be proven to be abject nonsense in the future or heavily misinterpreted/biased. You shouldn't take it as gospel. You're just twisting yourselves into knots over nothing. Go read Briffault's law again, but this time read it with some common sense. Two things should jump out at you immediately. There's probably a lot more, but I didn't get too deep into it once those two things set off my bullshit radar.
