Regardless what you do, there will be "bad mom" allegations by people who think they know more avout parenting than you. The ones that will really cheap you ass will be the ones coming from the childless who always complain about children (that's why they didn't have any), religious nutters who will insist your child with a medical problem has demons or it's your fault because you are morally lax and your child's problem is your punishment, and men who babysat their own children once for 30 minutes so now they believe they're experts on EVERYTHING child related.

And then wait till your child gets to school. That's when shit gets real.

Nobody tells you beforehand how being a mom makes you a punching bag for anyone looking to deflect accountability for everything under the sun. Especially if you're a single mom, which more than likely (statistically speaking) we all will be for at least a few years.

Best thing you can do, is disregard the shamers across the board and push back on them wherever and however you can. They will make your motherhood a living hell if you let them inside your head. It's like with the beauty industry propaganda and how that affects self harm rates for so many. The goal posts are always going to shift, there's always going to be something wrong with you or how you're doing things, and the comparisons never end. The entire point is to make you feel like shit and that you're unworthy.

So don't let that bullshit in your head. Trust your own instincts.