Probably both. She didn't say how long they'd been married but it's doubtful there was any indication of desire for an alternative lifestyle during their dating or after they were married.

So, she probably doesn't trust herself to read someone right, to protect her own boundaries, etc.

She probably doesn't trust me to be or stay the way they present themselves, to honor their promises, to not take advantage, etc.

Let's face it. That was messed up all the way around.