Other problem with that idea is that if you're only making friends with someone to me toe them and keep out od trouble, how real can that friendship be? Sounds more like being an AL-ANON sponsor or a YMCA "big brother" to troubled youth.

I do agree though, that more men need to participating in their communities.

And, it's not like I'm saying men shouldn't have friends either. It's just.....what you're describing sounds very transactional and in the end, that's going to be problematic for every type of relationship, not just romantic ones.

I don't think the problem of loneliness in men is because of a lack of masculinity, traditional or otherwise. There are still pu-lenty of "traditionally masculine" men and they are some of the most lonely men out there.

There needs to be a shift in how men value relationships in general, how men gain skillets to build them, a return to what I call cultivator thinking (but builder thinking would work too) and away from hunter thinking specifically in regards to relationships, understanding that you exist in tandem as an individual and ALSO a member of a community, etc.

You'll notice that all the above don't require you to change masculinity. At all.

Think of masculinity like a tool, rather than a state of being. It's both, but for the moment, think of it as a tool. How effective and supportive is masculinity going to be in your life, if you use it as a hammer for every part of your life?

Some situations you need to be using it as a wrench. Others a level. Still others a trowel. And so forth and so on.

Do you see what I'm saying?

In the end, men don't own "traditional masculinity", it's not meant to be endless performative peacocking in a state of perpetual rage (Jordan Peterson's "real manly men have to be barely constrained raging beast monsters"), and it's so much more than just a hammer. It's a whole tool box.