Or, simply break up with her. You're not her father and you're not her therapist. You shouldn't be acting in a capacity you have no training for because you'll do more harm than good. You
can't just clicker train mental health into broken people. People are not dogs.

Your presumption that what you describe is normal female behavior, "deeply imbedded in the female psyche", rather than aberrant behavior from someone struggling with mental health or past trauma only shows your own biases.