One of the problems with the article is that it's unfocused. Starts off with a guy "approaching" a woman at university who got left standing there. Supposedly. We're supposed to automatically feel bad for him for getting in trouble and what that potential trouble might have been. Poor guy.

This is suspicious. Sorry, it doesn't track. There's simply not enough information. Nobody gets in academic trouble for simply asking a girl on a date. There's more going on. We don't know what.

Then we move on to talking about bars and clubs and on the street and in libraries, etc.

It's too broad. These are not the same situations and pretend like they are.

If you're sitting in a library in sweats and your hair in a messy bun deeply focused with tons of open books around you, and you leaning over them and clutching your pencil you are not open to being flirted with or interrupted. Picture that in your head. What about that situation says, "please tell me I'm hot and how much you want to bone me."

Answer. Nothing. Not a goddammed thing. Be real.

If you're sitting at a Café, reading a book, and sipping a coffee and you look up and some guy smiles suggestively at you but you don't return his smile or acknowledge him, then you immediately return to your book and maybe cross your legs and turn or lean away. Perhaps you even start gathering your things to leave. What about this scenarios suggests "if I pester her enough, aggressively, she'll say yes. There has to he a secret code." ???

Where in there were you invited over to flirt? She clearly chose to not engage with you and at ths point, you're being intrusive. Come on. She was clearly there to relax and decompress and hear her own thoughts. 30 min or an hour of precious alone time, which you just kicked to hell.

Now let's imagine you're at a bar. There are a few women gathered together, one of whom you find attractive. They're dressed up, or just after work, laughing and blowing off steam. By their dress, their number, and how they're looking around the room instead of staying focused on one person, how they're moving about the space. you can see it's not a party or a special girl's night.

So now we're in a space where people come to socialize, we've observed someone we find attractive long enough to determine they're potentially open to being approached.

So you call the bartender over and send her a drink with a napkin pointing you out and saying something complimentary.

You wait. You watch.

She gets the drink. All the friends check you out. There will be some giggling and maybe some teasing. If she wasn't interested she'd refuse the drink, or send a note back via the bartender, or shake her head at you.

What she does do is hold the drink up to acknowledge you, smile, face you full on, square her shoulders, and tilt her head over for you to come join them.

But your decide to sit there, feeling awkward and hard done by......because body language is too difficult to read?? And you're just shy??

Shyness here is a separate issue and being used as a cop out because you fear rejection. Clearly. That's a you problem. Not something women have done to you or are being unnecessarily difficult about.

All this is universal you, not 2nd person singular you.