Once you hit a certain age, "caring partner" becomes a euphanism for nursemaid.

Otherwise, it's sort of vague. Like, what does that even mean to a man in his mid to late twenties? Thirties? Is he saying he wants lots of babies?

So I'm wondering if her dismay was really about 'caring' or if the word 'caring' became the focal point of the moment to express generalized dismay over advertising for dates and dating apps or dating in modern life.

A trigger, in other words. Would be for me, if I saw that advert.

I maintain that dating apps need to join the dodo. As does PUA culture. We need to get back to basics. Appreciate, value, and hone social skills. Invest in safe spaces for socializing, specifically for the purpose of dating. Anyone violating safety rules or conduct needs to be summarily punished and ousted. No second chances. No parole. No excuses. 100%. Across the board. Zero bullshit tolerated. From anyone. Any.One.

And for fuck's sake, leave women on the street alone.

Yeah, England and elsewheres don't have the gun problem we do. Or the crazies in the streets. Or the drug problem.

I got hit on this morning. I pass by a construction site on my way to the bus stop. They're putting up an apt complex or condos. Hard to tell at this stage. Anyway, a guy followed me from the site and asked me if I wanted to go grab some coffee with him, after asking me if I had a cigarette he could bum and then congratulating me on not smoking and "encouraging" me to keep up the good work. I'll be 53 in a few months. So....whatever.

He was non-threatening. I wasn't concerned about my safety. But I did feel dogged, if you know what I mean.

So he asks me if I'd like to get a cup of coffee with him and I say "no thanks, I'm on my way to work". And he immediately launches into this spiel about how he has a car and he's cool and it's just coffee and he's an okay guy and he works just over there and I don't know what all. It was hard to hear him over the traffic and construction.

It was like he heard the word "no" and immediately launched into why that no was the wrong answer and he completely missed the part where I'm going to work too. Or he just didn't care as it was irrelevant to his current needs. What the fuck ever.

As it happens, there's a Jack's right there on the other side of the block where they're building that's open for breakfast (it's a burger joint) and a Denny's back behind it (it's a 24/7 restaurant), both of which are places where one could get coffee if one wanted.

I don't ever go to Jack's but they know me pretty well over at Denny's. So I'd feel safe enough for a random coffee with a stranger there. No problem.

However, as I said, I felt dogged. My ultimate impression was that the guy didn't have lunch, was on break, and was looking to flatter me into a "date" where he would order a bunch of food and then leave me with the bill.

I can't tell you why that was my impression.

It's not because the guy was awkward. He was tall, fit, reasonably attractive, not spit polished but not grubby. He was a little dirty, sure, but he was mid shift and clearly working construction. He wasn't a total scrub.

It's not because of a prior bad experience. I've never had that happen where a guy asked me out on a date, randomly or otherwise, ran up a bill, and then stuck me with it.

As I said, he wasn't awkward. Also, zero creep affect. Absolutely nothing raised my hackles (so to speak) in any way shape, or form. In fact, he was somewhat charming, open and friendly in his affect.

More or less exactly what women say they want. Which is true. That is what we generally want.

And yet, unlike the very similar guy I wrote about in Serendipity who I sat withq and had a lovely conversation with, the impression this guy left me with is that he was false. A fraud. A User. Not to be trusted. A liar. Keep away from my sweet Urchling and Joopies. Rogue. Scoundrel. Douchebag. Chicken hawk cosplaying a Velociraptor.

I can't tell you why. I can tell you I felt dogged. And that despite social conditioning, I've learned to trust that instinct.

Something about this seemingly average guy was off. It didn't track. It wasn't flush. It was a bit squirrelly. And I betcha Jupiter and Urchling wouldn't have liked him either.

So that was my morning commute. Yay.