Ok, that was a convoluted bit of mental gymnastics.
First off, the number of non offending pedophiles is probably pretty small. Sooner or later they’re going to act on those desires in a manner that breaks the law because the alternative for them is celibacy. Most people do not have the fortitude to maintain celibacy their whole life. Celibacy is hard. So whether their 'action' is actually molesting a child or watching child porn at some point they’re going to cross a legal line and harm children. The idea that sexual attention or desire towards a child who is too young to understand sex, sexuality, and has not experienced sexual awakening themselves does not harbor evil intent or disregard for children is patently ridiculous. Of course it does. Of course. Because it does not leave children in peace to develop at their own natural rhythms. Further, children are being sequestered increasingly and denied freedoms that previous generations enjoyed trying to keep them out of the hands of predators. That’s a form of harm too.
Coming to ephebophilia, you’re off here too. First off, in most states the age of majority is 17, so your example of a 17 year old does not apply.
Secondly, 9, really? No way. Sexual awakening isn’t a switch. It happens in increments over the course of years. If a girl begins the process of sexual awakening and maturity at 12, she does not complete the process in a day, for crying out loud. Knowledge of sex does not automatically include an appreciation for the consequences of and potential harms from sex. That’s why we have statutory laws. So that children in the process don’t get railroaded by fully mature, predatory adults.
Yes, many teenagers are sexually active. Few of those are active with partners markedly older than them or even adults in situations that do involve true consent and no act of manipulation or coercion. Naturally, the idea of it is gross to them. So let’s dispense with the notion that interest in sex as a teenager be equated to sex with a full adult.
Melissa Gilbert (at 16) is on record being freaked out to share a bed with Dean Butler (at 28) on the show Little House on the Prairie. They reworked the set up because it disturbed her so much. As she told it in interviews and her memoir of the Little House years it wasn’t because of anything personal, it was because he was so old and hairy. That’s telling and most teenaged girls feel the same, including my daughter (16). She’s not sexually active yet but has been raised in a sex positive manner. When I asked her what she thought of her first sexual experience with a 30 year old, she froze, stopped breathing, and made this face 😱. Then this one 😲. And then this one 😵 which slowly slid into this one 🤕. Apparently it made her brain hurt. I hope this helps you wrap your head around the point here. Having been a teenage girl myself who was approached multiple times by older men and experienced attempted grooming from a teacher, allow me to triple down… it’s gross. It’s not sexy. I was very curious about sex at the time, but not with a bald, beer-bellied old fart sporting a pelt of back hair and ear tufts. Ew.
Being a teenager yourself and being sexually attracted to teenagers is not ephebophilia. It’s disingenuous to suggest it is. Being 40 and being attracted to teenagers does.
The laws make allowance for Romeo and Juliet scenarios to prevent new adults who have a prior relationship from when they were also a minor from being charged with rape falsely.
As for arguments about timing, that’s a bad faith argument, a misunderstanding of laws, and possibly just an example of male entitlement. Laws aren’t cars. They aren’t designed to be customized or to make you happy and comfortable. They’re written to establish a set of rules for what is acceptable in a society and what is not to protect the largest number of people and give us a framework for how to conduct ourselves. They are not designed to make society fit to the individual, but for the individual to not break the society. An individual who wants to live within a society agrees to the rules or finds himself a different society more to his liking or perhaps a cave somewhere on a remote island where you get to be king of yourself and only yourself and make all the rules you want.
I would suggest that if someone of 4o years finds themselves attracted to someone who is 15 and cannot wait for 2 or 3 quick little years for them to reach legal adulthood before beginning a sexual relationship then that relationship is more about them getting what they want when they want than it is about genuine love, respect, and regard for the 15 year old. That’s why it’s illegal. A typical 15 year old is not emotionally or experientially mature enough to recognize and deal with things like love bombing and manipulation. As examples above, they can’t even talk about easily. You get a series of disgusted faces and sick looks.
For the record, the real life Almonzo Wilder met and chose as a potential wife the real life Laura Ingalls when she was 13 and he was 23. He spent 3 years watching from afar and making himself worthy before asking permission to court her when she was 16. They courted for 2 years because he wanted her to finish her education, he knew her family needed her earnings for her sister Mary to go to school for the blind, and he wanted to give her time to be sure of him. They married when she was 18. All in all, he waited 5 years for her and built a foundation for them to have a successful life together. That’s what genuine love, respect, and regard for someone looks like. Not some bullshit equivocation and whining about how unfair it is that you just can’t stick your pecker wherever you want whenever you want without being “falsely" accused of rape.
Give me a break.
