Not really nicer, no. Lacking profanity does not make a term nicer, it makes it less profane.

Bossy is a term used to silence women, to degrade assertiveness, to force women into a box of passivity. It's damaging and t's the language of misogynists; a weapon to try to keep women in their place.

Asshole on the other hand, can mean two things. One is being an asshole or one is acting like an asshole. Being an asshole is a personality type, not likely to change much. It's not a gendered term. Anyone can be an asshole. Acting like an asshole means one is out of sorts and out of bounds; it's the exception not the rule. Or, they have a particular blind spot where they act out in a particular fashion.

At some point in their lives, everyone acts like an asshole. We all know this about ourselves and our loved ones. We try to do better. We try to be compassionate knowing sooner or later, that going to be us.

Society doesn't punish assholes as personality type unless they're women. Because that makes them bossy. Bossiness in women is considered undesirable. Being an asshole as a male gets you fame and fortune, so it's accepted and even considered desirable.

Bill Gates. Donald Trump. Mitch McConnell. Steve Jobs. Jerry Falwell. Peter Jackson. And so forth and so on.

All these men have something in common. They're all assholes.