No. No.no.no. Read the comment again. I clearly acknowledged that you had done things you regret. All of us do, we all make mistakes. Making mistakes or having problems you’re struggling with, however, does not give your partner license to break faith and breach trust.

Further, not communicating can be emotional abandonment if it is ongoing and sustained and done deliberately as a revenge for a perceived slight.

It can also be fatigue. Nobody likes beating their head against the wall ad nauseum infinitum. The same old arguments. The same old grievance. Nothing being solved. Never going forward.

You indicated he was very domineering. Not many people can live easily with someone who is domineering. There is never any compromise. The compromise is you give in and they get their way or there is no peace in the house. It’s exhausting. Not many of us are emotionally wired to handle that long term and truly thrive. We burn out on it and shut down emotionally.

Shutting down is NOT the same as willfully neglecting your partner because you’re pissed and want to act out passive aggressively.

As I recall, you said you requested counseling but he refused.

Requesting counseling IS a request and attempt to communicate.

His response was to turn away from you and from help. To have an affair instead.

He chose to not be married. Several times there. Think about it.

Not your fault.

No one partner can carry a marriage or relationship on their own.

Please think through this. My concern is that if you keep thinking this way you’ll end up in a string of relationships with guys and they will all have cheated on you. That’s what this thinking is setting the stage for. We teach others how to treat us. If you believe that your conduct can earn you being cheated on…there will always be a reason, something you did or didn’t do. You spent too much time with the kids (your kid is sick), you let yourself go (you gained 5 lbs), you emasculated him (you got a well earned raise), and so forth and so on.

No one deserves that.

You can’t and shouldn’t be expected to live your life pandering to your partner’s emotional immaturity just so you won’t be hurt. It never works in the end, it stifles you and steals your life/purpose/promise, and he’s supposed to step up and be an equal partner in your family enterprise—not dead weight.