No. I don’t blame the car. I blame the design flaw of how the car got put together, that installed the belt too tight and without lubrication or the brake pads in misalignment. I blame the quality control checks that also missed it.

The car is just a car. It’s just being a car, trying to do normal car things.

I blame the social system. Not them men and women living under it at a disadvantage, doing the best they can. I blame the men and women hell bent on upholding it to the detriment of us all. I blame religion a lot.

By the way, the other comment I was using the term “pray" loosely. I’m pretty much an atheist, but I can spend some time in quiet reflection calling out to those on the other side of the world in pain and struggling. I don’t need a fake concept of a vengeful God to do that.

Haha. Yeah, a bird’s eye view of the diagnostic flowchart would definitely be more succinct than endless articles about red flags and personal stories. But women rely on personal stories of other women to make sense of the world. They’re really the only avenue that sees the world from where we are. Religion doesn’t do that, science doesn’t do that, men don’t do that. It is what it is. It’s what we’ve had and what most of us are most comfortable with.

You’re right about negativity bias in these stories about age gap and others about bad experiences. There will eventually be those alternate viewpoints told too but we’re not there yet. I’ve known 3 couples closely where there was a significant age gap. I’ve told Urchling about them all. I think actually, being a third party to it eliminated a lot of the bias. She had that look on her face, the one where there’s mild surprise and turning gears.

Personal stories are great but they’re also inherently biased because you only hear one side. That does need to be kept in mind.

Best advise here, and again something taught to Urchling, is that when somebody is trying to persuade you of something, always check the financials (who profits), check for truthfulness and integrity, and lastly hear out the other side.

Then think it through for yourself. 🤠