My suggestongue doesn't have anything to do with your wife. It's about porn itself and the fact that you are male.

1. Being male, you're more likely to crave visual stimulus. But the focus of porn is extremely objectifying of women. That will not help you with an imaginnd connection or mutual satisfaction achieved alone, which is what you said was your desire.

2. Porn is voyeuristic in nature, which will likely trigger feelings of isolation and want, rather than satisfy them. Video porn adds the burden of being quasi-hypnotic in nature. There won't be a feedback loop, even an imagined one of mutual satisfaction.

There's a reason why women tend to prefer smutty literature over visual porn, you know. Romance novels allow you to place yourself, actively, inside the story, rather than watch someone else getting boinked from the sidelines......looking but never touching. Always the kid outside the candy store.

Porn was never made for us women. It doesn't sate our desires for conneclion and mutuality and desire. We're just a collection of body parts in most porn.

So, if what you want is satisfaction in the arena of self gratification, I would suggest you not look for it in shallow offerings of androcentric porn.