Most times I think that the only way to get from here to there is to have consequences though. They need to know that same fear, else they’ll always blow it off as female hysterics or insist that it’s not that bad (either in frequency or in what it does).
Sometimes I think about this in terms of performative protest. Like, mock assaults on men, where a woman comes up to them and “tags” them in a startling/jarring fashion, calling out a kind of assault, verbal, stalking/following, touching, grabbing, workplace, rape, etc. It would need to be avg to avg though and completely random. It would have to be time limited but long enough for them to develop an inkling of the stress response we have in public spaces and around men in general so they can’t deny the effect.
Other times I think if their wallets suffered, they’d have get their heads out of their asses in order to keep a better eye on it. What if some brilliant feminist coder/hacker made this app that appealed to men, probably pornish related, but it served a dual purpose. It listened. It randomly turned on the microphone. Every time it heard you catcall or harass a woman it fined you $100 or whatever, donated to women’s organizations. Can’t pay the rent? Awww … should have kept your mouth shut and found something better to entertain yourself than harassing women, huh? What are you going to tell your wife/girlfriend?
What if that idea was a little more universal and something society adopted by choice. We agree by city to self monitor. Every time our phones pick up harassment, and for every reported assault, we agree to pay a quarter fine. For one week out of every year. To raise awareness of the extent of the problem, and to show how we’re all culpable in the society we create. Again, monies could go toward efforts of correction.
In my more rage filled and violent fantasies, I imagine lots and lots of nut tasing. Or, you know, some other form of electro corrective therapy. This gets a little sci-fi, and the ideas mostly came from sci-fi if I’m being honest. Stargate had a good idea with that energy bracelet thing. But what if it was electric shock instead of energy displacement? Some guy bugs you, you grab his nuts and taze him. Micro drone zappers like on Star Wars and Star Trek would handle the distance work. I mean, if the whole point is to make oneself feel powerful by making someone else uncomfortable and afraid or to get a kick out of their screams, why shouldn’t that be women for a change? Maybe it’s just another glass ceiling to break.
On occasion, I think… screw them. Who needs them anyway? Women only villages or even a micronation is the way to go. There’s a village in Africa doing just that, for women escaping abuse. But what if it was just to isolate, choosing to have that peace. You’ve got to admit it would be an interesting experiment to see what kind of society women would create if left alone.
Yeah, I know every one of these things will never come to pass as they are all problematic in one way or another. Somebody better think of something that will work though, or peace will always be a fantasy too. If we learned anything out of #MeToo, it’s that no where near enough men see this behavior as a problem or as something they should want to proactively change or even be bothered with.
It’s clear that asking for peace and respect isn’t going to get us peace and respect. Time to think about how we want to up the ante.
Good article.
