Most men's idea of what a rapist is, is still stuck in "stranger danger" trope. They're the bad boy, the drunken frat boy, the seedy looking guy coveree in tatoos hiding out in the shadows.
Couldn't be further from the truth. Rapists like that are rare. The average rapist looks like the average guy. They ARE regular guys.
The other wrong idea so many men have is that if a man rapes a woman, he would rspe any woman if given the opportunity; he's going to be a threat to any woman.
Again. Couldn't be further from the truth. Most rapists will be around the women in their lives without incident. And then they meet someone and for whatever reason, something about her knocks something loose in his head. He grooms her, infiltrates into her life, convinces her he loves her, often marries her (or her mother) and then begins abusing her. For others, a brain worm gets planted by porn or violent media and it's all fantasy at first. One day, a golden opportunity arrives and his moral compassion is suppressed or has been neglected. He talks himself into it, not letting that opportunity pass him by. It seems spur of the moment, but he's been laying a foundation to it all along. For others, and this one is probably the most common, it really is all about entitlement stemming from belief systems. They invent all kinds of rules and mental codes to justify the entitlement to someone else's body. These are the men you'll see on the Internet working overtime to justify the sexual pressure and intimidation they put on women as all just part of it. And it's invariably based on the fact that THEY know they're a good guy and that they won't take it to far. They have limits and so it's not right to label the as monsters because some girl they've been stalking and harassing (at work) for weeks can't handle a little flirtation and over reacted. He was never going to "really" hurt her. (That's one I read on Reddit recently). Of course, he didn't see what he was doing as stalking and harassing. He was just being friendly and giving her attention.
These are regular guys. And they may only ever act this way toward one woman or a handful. They are not like this with every woman.
And that's why you see so very many men swearing up and down that a handful of rapists are committing all these rapes and sexual abuses.
But it's not. It happens because it's cultural. We live in a raoe culture and all it takes is for circumstances ro align and anyone can be a victim and anyone can engage in questionable and unethical.m sexual conduct BECAUSE it's sooooo normalized.
We change the culture or the rapes and the fallout continues.
