More often than not, when women talk about their husbands being narcissists, they're talking about it in the Greek sense of the word, someone who becomes self destructive because they can't look beyond themselves. They're not talking about it in a clinical psychological sense, even if the word returned to popularity "thanks" to pop psychology.

And the women are not wrong. Everyone struggles with insecurity. Everyone. If you're human, sooner or later you're going to experience deep insecurity and have to deal with it.

The way men perceive and deal with insecurity IS narcissistic in nature. It's self absorption that makes them get stuck in the loops they do. It's narcissism that leads men to adopt the absolutely deranged narratives they so often do and make them so very very tone deaf.

It's not a psychological condition.

It's a choice in how you see the world. A choice to not look beyond yourself and to make everything about you. Even in how you handle insecurity.