Mmm... There’s definitely a male perception that women are petrified of rejection.
That perception is not entirely on point though.
Most women fear abandonment. As in, being abandoned with children and no or limited means to support them after giving up a lot to raise a family. As in, being abandoned after your most marketable assets, your looks, have waned and you no longer have a decent chance at a quality mate/partner. As in, social ostracization or loss of social status/capital because now you’re divorced or a single mother. As in, being rejected by some smarmy guy in a mocking fashion that reduces your own social currency (like the football captain everyone admires says you’re too ugly and fat so no one else asks you out either).
That kind of thing. Being abandoned after you have already invested heavily in building a life with someone. And they just leave you hanging.
But... asking a man out you just met, that’s different. There’s no investment there. You’ve known the guy for, what?, 5 minutes?
Who the fuck cares if he rejects you? Ask out someone else.
Further, the issue of abandonment; the only reason that’s such a hangup is because our whole lives, were taught to fear that. That narrative that being a single mother, or an old maid, or a divorceé is a fate worse than death gets played out so many times, so many ways. There’s a lot of religious indoctrination there too for many faith systems. So we’re bathed in it, from the time we are very little girls. We do still live in a world where institutionally, socially, and culturally women are groomed to be reliant on men, and men to control women.
But, once you have faced, survived, and thrived after that harsh kind of abandonment, it doesn’t cause that level of anxiety any more. Once that hurdle is crossed, you will never allow yourself to be yoked again. The fear of what may happen if you acquiesce is gone. Forever.
Many people, especially religious women will still pity you when they know about whatever went down. It’s kind of comical most of the time because while they’re feeling so sorry for you, they’re usually the ones who are still drowning or suffocating. You pity them too, maybe more.
Gotta love the irony there.
