Meh. Not really.
Purpose is defined as the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.
Therefore, having children is the object of purpose, not the purpose itself. By the dictionary.
When people, men or women, speak of having children and purpose in the same breath, what they most often usually mean is purpose in a biblical sense.
The Bible defines purpose as God's plan and will for your life. A believer's purpose, ultimately, is to glorify God.
And yes, a lot of women believe that having children fulfills God's purpose for their lives.
But make no mistake, their purpose is a presumed ticket to heaven. The children are just how they get awarded that ticket.
For those who aren't believers or don't follow the the conservative or fundamentalist faith traditions, it's true that many women would still say they find a sense of purpose in motherhood. But....
1. They're not talking about the child itself being a purpose, they're talking about motherhood and parenting as a job. They're talking about mentorship and stewardship.
2. They're not talking about having babies as the sole purpose of your entire life. They're talking about a specific time frame. The goal is not to be a mother forever, it's to "retire" from motherhood after an effort (raising a child to be a self sufficient adult) has come to a close. To say that having children is your "life's purpose" invalidates and negates the import of anything else that comes before or after.
Including all your other relationships. It makes all other aspects of your life meaningless.
It's a dumb ass thing to say.
I have a child. She was not and will never be my life's purpose. She's also an amazing your woman whom I love dearly. I very much enjoyed my years of active parenting, more so than many of my peers who constantly spouted that tripe about purpose and held many a resentment about their lot in life. I'm a "retired" mother now. I still have purpose and worth and it's not to babysit the next generation. My current purpose may not affect you personally but it does literal millions. I'm not claiming full ownership of that purpose, I'm doing a part. But, without doubt, if I was not fulfilling my role, the consequences of that would be profound and noticeable. That's not nothing.
At the conclusion of my life, I will look back on this time frame and see a sense of purpose fulfilled. Same as I do with my motherhood years. Same as I do with aspects of my life before motherhood.
That's because motherhood is NOT my life's purpose.
I found purpose in motherhood. I loved all the years of motherhood. But I did not become a mother to fulfill sky daddy's purpose and my sweet Urchling was not created as an object of anyone's purpose.
Make no mistake about that.
Frankly, I believe that keeping a right head about purpose and roles is why motherhood was so enjoyable, why I can happily "retire" from active parenting without losing my sense of self, and why motherhood didn't drive me to near depression, addiction, or mental health decline as it does so many women.
