Meh. I don't think people or society blame the guy for being ugly, even if they may feel naturally averse to them.

Here's the thing. Dating works easily for some people. Some people have to work at it and then they're okay. For still others it's just always going to be a painful and excruciating endeavor. That's life. Everything in life is this way, just about, to some degree.

What your example guy might be blamed for is failing to keep this in mind and making his dating woes solely about his looks and then falling into bitterness and hate because of it.

And that IS on him. And him alone.

Plenty of women have, do, and will always find dating painful and excruciating. Yes, even beautiful women. Same is true for some of the men referred to as "chads" by Incels.

In the end, Incels have the same game plan, options, and chances as everyone else. They are not the castaways of the Love Boat they imagine themselves to be.

Dating is about attraction, not looks. Looks are one facet among many of attraction but it is not nor should it be the most important for either women or men. A wise dater will steer clear of folks who make it so because they're not too bright and a hot damn mess.

So. You work on your overall presentation. This means you have to consider how others perceive you through your affect, your body language, your style, your interactions, what you're doing with your eyeballs, etc.

You put your best foot forward. For the vast majority of us, that will not be our looks. It will be something else. Perhaps that is a sparkling wit. Perhaps that is a quiet confidence. An athletic carriage. A sensuous or even a statuesque presence. Perhaps an open curiosity. Perhaps you're just incredibly personable. Could be anything. It's crazy the number of thinga people find attractive in each other.

Whatever your best facet of attraction is, you're going to "dress it up", be proud of it, and put it out there rocking the hell out of it. That's it. That's all it is. You don't compare and you don't concern yourself with looks. You display and you socialize. You look for what you like while you watch for who's looking at you with interest. You mosey on over. You express interest and see if th other person reciprocates. You volley back and forth. You ask for that date, and then things work out or they don't.

An average looking guy who has perceptively dressed up his aloof slacker persona or is busting a move to his own groove out on the dancefloor is always going to be infinitely more attractive than the objectively good looking guy hiding in the back with his hand in his pockets and staring at his drink. Always.

Ain't nothin' new under the sun here.

If you just hate dating, then your choices are to either suck it up and push through it if having a someone is that importsnt to you or don't date and focus on non-romantic relationships instead. Maybe get a dog. Maybe travel some.

There's no guarantees. You can do everything "right" and still not meet anyone you want. Out of the ones you want, none of them may want you back. You can get someone you want and they can betray your heart. You can get someone you want and lose the love of your life after 6 months.

That's life. None of us have any guarantees for how it's going to go. None of us.