😂😂😂 Maybe the only real difference between heaven and hell is who you have to spend eternity with.

In the church culture I group in, they were apocalyptic too. One of the times I got kicked out of Sunday school was because they said there were no dogs in heaven because dogs have no souls. My friends beloved pet had just died and I was trying to comfort her with the, “she’s waiting for you in heaven" speech. I think we were like 11, maybe 12.

Anyway, after the youth leader made my friend burst into tears again, I got to arguing with the lout over dogs in heaven. How does he know? The Bible doesn’t say. Lalala.

He ends it by drawing himself up and saying, “THERE.ARE.NO.DOGS.IN.HEAVEN."

Or, so he thought, right?

“I want to talk to Lucifer then and see what he has to offer. Otherwise, what’s the point?”

So I was invited to leave for being a heathen and daring to utter the name of Satan in God’s Holy House.

Whatever. I still feel the same. Eternity isn’t much of a reward if it doesn’t include the ones you loved when you were living. Be they furballs or naked apes.

And you’re right, there won’t be very many naked apes in my onion layer of heaven. There will be lots of animals though. Lots of forest. There’s maybe 5 people I could tolerate for eternity. But Jupe? Tut? Jed? Penelope? Daphne? Wouldn’t be worth it without them.