Just speaking generalities. And to be fair, I've only asked men out the same way men ask women out nowadays. I went through a period of really trying to date a lot. I was on the apps, I said yes to nearly every single man who asked me regardless, and I asked out every man who remotely looked to me.

In my mind, I was making up for lost time because I wasn't allowed to dste like other girls and then I got married right out of college. I had only dated a handful of men when I got married and he turned out to be one of those marital changelings.

I took men's complaints about women never asking them out to heart (cause that's not new, that's been rumbling around in the background forever) and "you have to kiss a lot of frogs" yadda yadda. So... I did what I always do. Set a goal, determined a course of action, practiced, and then got to it.

Nothing new there either. That's how shit gets done. Always has been.

And it was largely a failure. I did get a handful or so of yeses, They didn't go anywhere, I got ghosted, and I learned another hard lesson about expextations. By and large, men do not understand the sifference between dating and hooking up anymore. Not really. That's dangerous for the woman.

Getting back to generalities, I believe I got refused for the same reason most men do. And this is why I rail against those damned apps so much. They've changed dating dynamics and ruined them in the process. Anyway, I was going about it in the same way men do via the bad datinf advice that's out out there. The fact of the matter is, it's offputting (also known as creepy) and makes you uncomfortable when you're on the receiving end of it.

I deserved all those nos and all that harshness. What the hell was I thinking? Men are human beings, not some kind token buffet laid out for my casual perusal and amusement. They're people, who knew (kidding)?

I took bad advice. It doesn't work. We're not frogs or lightening bugs so we shouldn't be trying to date like them. We're human beings. We need to date like human beings. The one good thing I can say for myself out of all of that is that none of those men every had to worry about being murdered or assaulted for saying no, regardless of how harshly.