It’s true. Straight up Mama Bear. Zero doubt. Urchling actually wants me to tell the story of her “kidnapping" at hour 2 or 3 because it’s so freaking funny.

It’s one of her favorites.

That said, most of us quickly learn that you can’t protect them with 100% security or coverage once they’re no longer part of your body.

There’s actually a moment of existential crisis soon after birth for mothers about this. That realization of separation hit me like a sledgehammer.

I think that for those of us who have this moment of angst the tendency is one of two things because it is so profound, so absolute, so non-negotiable it cannot be ignored. It definitely consumes you for a hot minute. Or 1,576,800 hot minutes…more or less.

You either double, triple, and quadruple your efforts to keep the kid safe and whole, becoming a suffocating mom. You never let them fall so they never learn to fall well or how to get back up.

Or….

You realize the best way to protect them is to teach them to protect themselves. That necessarily includes how to observe and think things through, and to look for traps, hazards, pitfalls, problems, etc. You’ll both have meltdowns. First time I let Urchling fall after warning her about the chair she was on is also seared into my memory. Honest to God I’m not sure who it hurt more. But she was allowed to make her own decisions and she learned to get back up. She was also furious with me for letting her fall. Angry toddler Urchling was a heart breaker.

The point being, there’s a tendency toward being dismissive of mothers in many many ways. In this way, it seems everyone only sees one side of the 'Mama Bear' coin; Perhaps because of the current extreme and criticisms of tiger/helicopter moms. The lack of societal awareness comes from not seeing how women are socialized and conditioned for this extreme. By God, you let you kid take a tumble so they’ll learn to stand and see how quickly you get mom shamed. Fucking everybody does it.