It's not that much different for women.

We have rites of passage too that are both excruciating and terrifying.

It's different, but the pain and turmoil of it are the same. Feminism has opened the doors for us to talk about it, which we previously couldn't. It helps.

I'm bringing it up not as a whataboutism, but to highlight that we all do go through it as part of growing up. Knowing that it's a natural part of growing up helps, as does being able to talk about it like it's a normal part of growing up.

It's the shame, see? It's that shame that makes it excruciating. But growing up should not be something to be ashamed of or hold any sort of weird ass shame about. Right?

Your comment made that point tangentally; I wanted to emphasize it.